I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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