my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's blow job season.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
