69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
