OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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