The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
