he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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