do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
