Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
