just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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