she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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