I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
