You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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