dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
