Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
