so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
