he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
