That's intense
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
PANTIES FOUND
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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