I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
