I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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