remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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