There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize