Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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