So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
