Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
