4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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