Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
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I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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