No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
