Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
