You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.