Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail