But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.