Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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