Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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