I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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