I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
