i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
