Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize