I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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