i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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