By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
