I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt