I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.