I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills