I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night