so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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