After last night, I could never be a politician.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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