I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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