Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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