we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
