it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
we're so committed to being not committed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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