I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
