And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
