I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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