1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
