when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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