you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize