Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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