My friends, they love my intelligence
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
