I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Come on in and take your pants off
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