member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
