Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
