3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
